Ok, so it’s been a crap week and a bit for me since I last posted. I didn’t mean to leave it for so long but then there was always an excuse not to blog. Not to worry though, I’m back with a great fun & easy recipe that you can make for Christmas (or any occasion, really…) Read More
I have been watching far too much television in the last two weeks. It all started out when I downloaded the first season of Ally McBeal. I had been talking about it with the Husband – how we were both fans as teenagers and we had wanted to watch it again. I’d been having loads of trouble getting off to sleep at night so I started watching episode after episode of Ally.
Then, I remembered I was missing out on Glee – Channel 10 were too far in front for me to understand what the heck was going on, so I grabbed that too. After that, I stumbled in to Danielle’s post about what she’s been watching on TV over at Hello Owl and a true TV addiction was formed.
I’m on “Happy Pills” and they make me function like a normal woman and not like a banshee from outer space. It’s really important that I remember to take them every day, because the banshee likes to turn up at random moments and usually, it’s around the time I’ve got important things to do, like call my husband or attend job interviews. Thankfully for prospective interviewers, the banshee hasn’t actually turned up at an interview, she just likes to sit in my head and make me doubt my self-worth whilst I’m on my way to the building, because she’s such a nice banshee like that.
On Tuesday last week, I lost my packet. I thought I had left it in the fruit bowl, but my Mum had moved them into my handbag because she didn’t want to confuse them with her tablets (which are not happy ones – she is already happy enough). So as they say, out of sight, out of mind – I just plain forgot to take my tablets for three whole days.
I never like to admit that my husband is right – but I have to admit, my husband is right. When I don’t take my tablets, bad things happen. Like how I couldn’t sleep properly for two days and even now I still can’t get to sleep until late in the night. Getting the shakes is fun too, especially when they’re combined with that nervous sensation in my stomach that signals an imminent anxiety attack.
So I’ve re-set the diary reminder in my phone for 9am every day and I’m not ignoring it this time – my pills are on my side table and there’s a bottle of water there too. No excuses!
My Mum put up her Christmas tree last night. It is beautiful and totally her, meaning ultra chic. Once it was up, I realized it was the 4th December and not only had I not rung my Grandmother to wish her a happy birthday but it was 21 days until Christmas.
It doesn’t feel like Christmas to me.
Five Christmases in London mean I’m used to it being dark and grey with a light dusting of snow. It means going Christmas shopping on Oxford Street with hats, gloves and scarves. It means real Christmas trees with twinkly lights and red Starbucks cups with Hot Chocolate inside.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not doing a Scrooge here but I just wish I felt a bit more “Christmassy”.
It’s my first blog post and I can’t think of anything to write about today. But I have decided that I need to write, because I have so many feelings that I need to get out.
I haven’t seen my husband since the 27th October 2011. I won’t see him until the 25th January 2012. I miss him. He is my rock, my pillar, my best friend. We can argue like a cat and a dog, yet we still have so much love for each other.
There was a moment in time where I thought I would lose him forever. We had been fighting over issues that we’d had for nine years. My issues. His issues. We walked around on eggshells around each other. It wasn’t fair, so I moved back home for a break.
By the time I’d walked through the airport and boarded my plane I knew even though it was a good idea to take a break from each other, it was a bad idea – I missed him so much. Thank heavens for sad movies on in-flight entertainment to use as an excuse as to why I had tears running down my face for the whole eleven hours it took to fly from London to Singapore.
I’m counting down the days until I fly back over to London. Only one month and three weeks to go…