It’s been a while, hasn’t it? I didn’t mean to leave you so long or make you feel deserted. It just happened. I apologise.
Last time I wrote, I was in Australia. I was dreading leaving one home but excited to get back to reality. Now I’m not so excited. The job scene isn’t hot (long story short: worst interview ever), it’s so cold I feel like I live in an Igloo, I miss my family like crazy and I finally realized that even though I love London, my real home is in Australia, with my family.
There have been tears almost every day. There have been stupid arguments and decisions to plan ahead but I just don’t want to. I want to go home right now. I know it’s selfish to expect him to pick up his happy life and everything that he holds dear to him but I know that those three months of happiness, comfort and being able to spend time with the ones I love were the reason why I didn’t need to take my antidepressants and the moment I felt I had finally kicked that black dog right out of the door.
Decisions have to be made. It’s just a shame they are the ridiculously hard ones.
Image found at WeHeartIt.com
It’s my first blog post and I can’t think of anything to write about today. But I have decided that I need to write, because I have so many feelings that I need to get out.
I haven’t seen my husband since the 27th October 2011. I won’t see him until the 25th January 2012. I miss him. He is my rock, my pillar, my best friend. We can argue like a cat and a dog, yet we still have so much love for each other.
There was a moment in time where I thought I would lose him forever. We had been fighting over issues that we’d had for nine years. My issues. His issues. We walked around on eggshells around each other. It wasn’t fair, so I moved back home for a break.
By the time I’d walked through the airport and boarded my plane I knew even though it was a good idea to take a break from each other, it was a bad idea – I missed him so much. Thank heavens for sad movies on in-flight entertainment to use as an excuse as to why I had tears running down my face for the whole eleven hours it took to fly from London to Singapore.
I’m counting down the days until I fly back over to London. Only one month and three weeks to go…